"Ce qui barre la route fait faire du chemin" (Jean de La Bruyère - 'Les Caractères')

mercredi 15 septembre 2010

Mourir pour le Luxembourg


Nicolas Sarkozy a trouvé un ennemi à sa taille : le Luxembourg. Le président français, par ailleurs co-prince d’Andorre, se prépare à déclarer la guerre au Grand-Duché.

Tout est parti des déclarations de Viviane Reding, une Luxembourgeoise, commissaire européenne à la Justice. Celle-ci dénonce la politique française à l’égard des Roms et la compare aux déportations pratiquées par les Nazis pendant la seconde guerre mondiale. Viviane Reding menace même la France de poursuites en justice pour non respect de la législation de l'Union européenne.

Silvio Berlusconi est l’un des rares à prendre la défense de la France en affirmant que Mme Reding aurait mieux fait de s’exprimer en privé face aux dirigeants français. Mais la chancelière allemande Angela Merkel (qui a un regard plus précis sur les déportations) soutient la position défendue par Viviane Reding.

Recroquevillé dans son palais parisien, Nicolas Sarkozy a pris la mouche. Il est terriblement vexé. Il juge « scandaleux » la parallèle établi par Mme Reding entre la politique française à l’égard des Roms et les déportations nazies.

Le président déjeunait ce mercredi avec quelques sénateurs UMP. Entre la poire et le fromage, avec son tact habituel, il a lancé : « Si les Luxembourgeois veulent prendre les Roms, il n’y a aucun problème ! »

Cette délicatesse française a ébranlé le Grand-Duché qui n’est guère habitué à des attaques aussi frontales de son voisin. Jean Asselborn, le ministre luxembourgeois des Affaires étrangères dont nous apprenons l’existence à la faveur de ce coup de tonnerre transfrontalier, a jugé la déclaration de Nicolas Sarkozy "malveillante".

Sommes-nous donc à l’aube d’un conflit militaire avec le Luxembourg ? Le remède est connu. Rien de tel qu’une bonne petite guerre pour faire oublier tout ce qui ne va pas : la réforme chaotique des retraites, les sondages en vrille, les atteintes à la liberté de la presse, les grenouillages nauséabonds de l’affaire Woerth-Bettencourt, sans compter les méchancetés qui se disent sur le piètre talent d’actrice de la première dame devant la caméra de Woody Allen.

Bref, Nicolas Sarkozy n’a plus qu’une seule solution pour faire diversion : attaquer le Luxembourg. Je parle ici d’une attaque militaire. Hervé Morin, ministre de la défense, avec son air centriste de ne pas y toucher va devoir enfin bosser.

On aurait tort de ricaner. Le Luxembourg est une grande puissance. Ce pays compte tout de même 502 500 habitants, c’est-à-dire un quart de la population de Paris intra-muros. C’est considérable. Les forces armées luxembourgeoises sont fortes de 3000 hommes. Pas de marine, pas d’aviation, uniquement une armée de terre.

Nous sommes presque à armes égales. La France a un semblant de marine mais un seul et unique porte-avion toujours en panne. Et la marine, pour affronter le Luxembourg, c’est assez secondaire. Quant à l’aviation, nous en avons une, à la différence du Luxembourg. Mais avec les grèves constantes des contrôleurs aériens, les Luxembourgeois ne craignent rien du côté du ciel.

Ainsi donc, les données stratégiques du conflit imminent sont posées. Les jeunes Français iront-ils mourir pour laver l’honneur de la Patrie, flétri par la ‘hyène luxembourgeoise’ ? J’utilise ici par avance le vocabulaire de la propagande belliciste, toujours prompte à se manifester.

Tout se joue demain à Bruxelles à l’occasion d’un conseil européen. Si Nicolas Sarkozy arrive coiffé du bicorne napoléonien, sabre au clair, il faut s’attendre à des journées sanglantes sur le front luxembourgeois. Nous, peuple français, sommes-nous prêts pour ce sacrifice ? C’est la der des der. Nous châtierons le luxembourgeois comme nous avons châtié... Comme nous avons châtié qui, déjà ?

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